New Rules
H’s first violin (size 1/16)
I live with a teenager. My son is an incredible human with diverse interests and several talents. One of them is music.
As a professional musician, this of course delights me to no end and it’s been a pleasure watching my son grow and find his passions and supporting him on his journey.
2 year old H helping out with my sound check
When he was little, my son often “helped” me with my sound checks, singing nursery rhymes and original songs (that he made up on the fly) into my mic. He loved playing congas (thanks to my friend and incredible colleague, Nick, who was completely cool showing H the ropes and letting a toddler jam on his drums), and he asked to play the violin for over a year before he was big enough to hold one (he started on a 1/16 size – yes, it sounded like a toy). Since the early days, my son has been solidly in love with music and the making of music.
Now that he’s older, he manages his own practice time (which anyone who’s had a young child play an instrument knows is a BFD) and is currently in an orchestra (he’s actually the concert master in his orchestra), plays with a chamber group, and is in the early stages of a collaboration with friends.
We share songs we like with each other. We have nerdy conversations about film scores and video game soundtracks. We discuss interesting compositions and bond over a shared appreciation for EDM and Bach (not at the same time, but hey – that could actually work well with the right DJ).
He’s branched out, adding things like ukulele, ocarina, and the mandolin to his growing instrumental repertoire, and we recently got him a pickup for his violin. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it’s a small device that attaches near the bridge of a string instrument and converts physical vibrations into digital sound. You can plug the pickup into an amp to elevate the sound and in some cases, even change it.
Yes, we have an insane amount of fun at my house.
The other night however, was not so fun – at least not for me. See, we’re at a phase in life where I go to bed before my child. No more tucking him in and singing lullabies, these days I’m usually already asleep by the time his head hits the pillow. We have a different nighttime ritual now that works for us – usually.
7 year old H plays a gig at The Salt Lick BBQ
The other night though, I’d just settled into bed, ready for a glorious sleep when my son decided to practice his violin. Him playing music at night isn’t typically a big deal, but at the moment, our music room isn’t available due to a major studio redo I’m in process with. So, all the instruments and gear are hanging out in other areas of the house right now. Which means that currently music practice isn’t taking place in room treated for sound, it’s taking place in super live space with high ceilings and tile floor (read, it’s loud).
Add to that the fact that my son was playing with his new pickup, and I’m sure you can guess, sleep wasn’t in the cards for me at that time.
Parenting, just like so many other facets of life, is a constant study in assessing and addressing – figuring things out as you go and doing the best you can with the tools available to you at the time. While part of me wanted to be annoyed that things were loud when I was trying to sleep, another part of me loved hearing my son play the Bach Double and Haydn’s Gypsy Rondo on the amp’s “Nirvana setting.”
Instead of getting cross and playing the crochety killjoy, I chose to find the humor in the situation and focus on the fun.
We had a loving conversation and our family ended up setting some new parameters and finding creative ways to respect each other’s needs and desires.
These types of conversations are an ongoing part of parenting (and being human) but I have to admit, I never thought I’d have one around anything related to music. Always an adventure, right?
I never thought I’d have a sound ordinance in my home either, but now we do.