World Building

Image by Léonard Cotte

When we are children, we’re told by well-meaning adults that we can be, or do, or become anything we choose, anything we set our minds to. I remember having a conversation with one of my sisters-in-law years ago wherein she lamented that we tell this very thing to our children, instilling in them this belief that they have boundless potential, that anything is possible for them – and at the end of the day, they just get jobs.

Image by Geronimo Giqueaux

This is a pattern many people live with, having cheerleaders who seem to hold space for dreams, only to corral the dreamers into slots in society’s roles, rules, and norms as they grow older. We go from truly believing anything is possible as children, to slowly whittling our dreams to fit currently available categories as we grow. Without conscious effort, we end up minimizing the scopes of our imagination to fit the prescribed ways of being that both society, and well-meaning people in our lives suggest as fitting for us. It is rare indeed to find adults who still truly believe they can be, or do, or become anything they choose. And even rarer to find people brave enough to go for it. I’d like to change that.

The truth is, we create our lives (and our world) every day, with every choice we make. We choose to subscribe to ways of being, or thinking. To ideals and ideas – from without, and from within. Just as when we were children and people asked what we wanted to be, or do, when we grew up, it is up to us to decide what our futures hold now. For us to decide how we want to be, or what we want to experience day to day. Often, that does not involve the job we ended up getting when we “grew up.” This isn’t to say jobs are evil, on the contrary, they can be quite useful, and many jobs actually uplift humanity and help make the world a better place. Many jobs make it possible to support living some aspects of our dreams. There is nothing wrong with jobs. However, when we settle into them at the expense of our dreams and our potential, when we use them to close the doors on our possibilities and creativity, that is problematic.

Wherever we look, we can find reasons not to do something that brings us joy. Proof to support (often) fear-based ideas about why this or that idea isn’t a viable choice in, or for, our lives. It is easy to find excuses not to do the thing(s) we’ve dreamed of, easy to relinquish the idea that anything is possible simply because we can’t see how it can come to be (yet). But if we are open when we look, we can also find proof to support our dreams and visions. Reasons to move forward with them, to explore, even if we don’t truly know what the outcome may be.

Image by Aaron Huber

The poet, Mary Oliver, speaks to this very thing in her beautiful poem, “The World I Live In” where she says:

“I have refused to live
locked in the orderly house of
     reasons and proofs.
The world I live in and believe in
is wider than that. And anyway,
     what’s wrong with Maybe?

You wouldn’t believe what once or
twice I have seen. I’ll just
     tell you this:
only if there are angels in your head will you
     ever, possibly, see one.”

It takes courage to live in and with the maybe, but it is possible. And though it can at times be scary, it can also be enjoyable. But if we cannot see it for ourselves, the likelihood of it happening is slim.

I would be remiss not to remind here that while believing big is absolutely necessary, wanting something isn’t enough for it to become reality. No amount of wishing will make something happen. Action is required to make anything come to pass. And it’s the ownership of desire – embracing what it is that we want to be, or what we want to experience – that informs the actions needed to give our dreams corporeal form. We get to imagine for ourselves, just like we did when were children. And with the wisdom of our life’s experiences, we get to take actions that help those ideas come to fruition.

I’m absolutely an advocate for dreaming and believing BIG. I’m all for wanting what you want and going for it. And that’s part of the magic of living in the maybe – the going for it without knowing how it may pan out. The actions toward the dream while society, and even possibly well-meaning loved ones, gives all the reasons and proofs for why or how it might not work out. What if more adults remembered the truth that we were taught as children – that we can be, or do, or become anything we choose if we set our mind to it? What if more adults believed in their own limitless potential and began exploring it with the abandon of a curious child? What if anything really was possible? (spoiler alert, it is)

Here’s to remembering our potential, to playing with the questions, exploring possibilities, and to living in the maybe as we create our world(s).