Reframe

I'm working on several projects concurrently - each in different stages and iterations. Sometimes, it feels like a lot and lately I've found myself saying the phrases "have to" and "need to" with increasing regularity when discussing various aspects of said projects. And I'm over it. It's become clear to me that somewhere in the process of attending to the myriad details over the past few weeks, I began to overlook not only the power of language, but of free will.

Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus in The Matrix

It's a choice.

All of it. The way we live, love, and interact with others. How we spend our time and resources. What we say and think about how we spend our time and resources. On some level, whether consciously or unconsciously, we choose.

I've had a few days lately where I'd rather lost sight of that part of the equation, and found myself ticking off "to-dos" without any verve or pleasure. When one of my mentors asked recently how things are going with my projects, my reply was "I'm plugging right along." To me, that statement meant, I'm doing the things, executing the plans, knocking off the "to-dos," doing the work even if/when it's not glamorous and/or no one else will see it. And let's be honest, discipline is good. Deadlines are good. Holding yourself and having other people hold you accountable is good. But sometimes, it's easy to get stuck in a thought pattern of "I have to." I have to write this chapter, I have to practice, I have to make a post, I have to test this gear, I have to submit this piece, I have to lay these cues, I have to learn this thing, I have to deliver this or that to those people who are expecting it, etc., etc. When phrasing things this way, it's easy to forget we have a choice. And forgetting that can suck all the joy out of not only the project, but our life.

The truth is, work doesn't have to equate with suffering. "Doing the things" doesn't have to be a slog. And the paradigm of the struggling artist or creative is a choice. Just like everything else.

So, today I'm choosing a reframe. I'm replacing "have to" and "need to" with "get to" and "want to." I'm playing with that colloquial phrase, "plugging right along," and seeing if I can tease out something more fun. Something that conveys the gift of the work, the opportunity, and the privilege of it. As ever, I seek to find and create joy along the journey, meaning in the mundane, and pleasure in the practical. If I come up with a new phrase, I'll let you know. For now, I'm reminding myself that I don't HAVE to do any of the things. I CHOOSE to. And I choose to because I WANT to. 

This reframe doesn't change the volume of work, it doesn't soften the details, or simplify the steps. But it does remind me of my own agency, and gives me a boost when things are challenging. I chose this, and get to grow through it. Though we can't actually control many of the factors and facets in the process (or life in general), we can control the way we perceive them. "I have to" is passive, putting us in victim mode. "I want to" is active and powerful, reminding us that we are creators. And we get to choose.