Time Flies, Or Does It

“Some things are rushing into existence, others out of it. Some of what now exists is already gone. Change and flux constantly remake the world, just as the incessant progression of time remakes eternity.” – Marcus Aurelius

Image by Jon Tyson

I love the container of the school year. The sense of anticipation as the summer break winds down and supplies for the next semester are procured. The thrill of the unknown – wondering who you might meet or what you might learn. The delight in a new beginning. The pleasure of the unfolding journey. The subtle shifts over time, and the dramatic ones that seem to happen in a snap. The lightbulb moments. The breakdowns. The breakthroughs. The shifting of the seasons, students’ lives mirroring the natural world as things are laid down, absorbed, sprouted and bloomed. The exponential growth, and the natural conclusion – ready for the next adventure.

We’re winding down another school year this week and while I didn’t have the pleasure of shepherding a group of students in my own classroom over the past months (I set that aside for now), I have witnessed my son and his friends in their own unfolding, and it’s been incredible. It seems like yesterday he was starting pre-school. The four-year-old with the October birthday who’d just missed the cutoff for beginning kindergarten. The kid who loved science and was fascinated with all the “science codes” in the periodic table of elements. The child who’d already embraced some of his passions and lived them with abandon.

It’s been a pleasure watching him grow.

Of course, there’ve been challenges, we don’t often grow without those. Even a plant needs to work with the obstacle of the soil to thrive. But, in the constant dance of assessing and addressing, there’s been a lot of wonderful too.

Parenting is a long game, though sometimes it feels like a blink. As we wind down this semester, it’s strange to think my son will be in high school next year. Odd to realize we’ve been doing this school thing with him for a decade now. And at the same time, it feels perfectly right. Natural that all these changes have occurred, fascinating to know more are to come.

We’ve had all sorts of events to keep up with over the past few weeks – competitions, class trips, concert season (so many performances between school orchestra, chamber group, string quartet, and recitals), projects, exams, parties, and awards ceremonies. Sometimes it’s felt like things are moving incredibly fast, careening toward summer break, and I admit, I’ve found myself counting the days more than once, longing for a slower pace.

And then I think about that quote from Marcus Aurelius’s, Meditations, and I’m encouraged to hold tight, loosely. To know that change and flux are always happening. That time is not a tide, ebbing and flowing, it simply is. And anywhere in the continuum of time, we can breathe and enjoy whatever is present. In fact, if we are to enjoy it at all, we must do it in the moment, for the next moment is already happening and some of what exists now, is already gone.

Change is inevitable.

Sometimes it feels rushed and just like in the last few weeks for me, sometimes our schedules are packed. But the wisdom of the Stoics reminds us that our internal state does not need to be affected by our external environment or circumstances. At any moment, we can pause, breathe, and re-assess how we want to be. Me? I want to be present. Fully invested in the moment at hand, knowing in reality, it’s all we truly have. So, whether it’s enjoying the final days of my son’s middle school experience, drafting a novel, laying vocals on a project, connecting with people, or just sitting in stillness – whatever I’m doing, I want to truly be there. Present. Presence.

Here’s to being in the moment. To being present with and in whatever we’re doing, knowing that each experience is being made and unmade simultaneously. To celebrating the now, and the now, and the now, embracing the flux and the constant dance of change.