Pass Go, Collect $200

I thought I’d write about the Kauai Writers Conference today, but I think I need more time to digest that experience before sharing. I will say, it was fun and I made new friends and gleaned many insights, but more on that later. Today, I find myself wanting to discuss permission.

Photo by The Image Party/Shutterstock.com

Certainly, there are some rules and regulations in place to keep people safe and help things run smoothly in our lives. If we didn’t wait our turn for “permission” at traffic lights for example, there might be more collisions. And in a classroom, if everyone did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to without instruction, chaos might reign and learning might be difficult. There is certainly an order to things for a reason, and we’ve been entrained since we were young to play along. I’m not saying we should all be willy-nilly with our lives, but I do think it’s worth taking a moment to investigate how and where we might be simply following along with the “rules” rather than living our fullest lives. I think this happens a lot where creativity is concerned.

Maybe it’s because I’m a woman. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a household intermittently run like the military. Maybe it’s because I worked as an educator all those years. Maybe it’s because I write romance novels (among other things). Or, maybe it’s just because I’m human. Whatever the underlying reason(s), consent is important to me and a big theme in my work. All my novels feature elevating consent, particularly in and with the steamy bits. While I enjoy playing with the alpha male trope, I in no way enjoy or condone alphaholes either in fiction, or in real life.

Image from Huffington Post

Consent is important, we seek it and desire it – and it’s not just for the bedroom. When we sign up for someone’s email list, we consent to hear from them. When we go to the doctor, we consent to their practice’s guidelines. When we join a class, we consent to the terms of the syllabus. When we come to a red light, we generally consent to waiting our turn. When we go to a theater, we consent to certain behavior patterns so everyone can enjoy the show, and on and on. Much of our lives is a dance of receiving and giving various forms of permission. It’s no wonder that when it comes to our own creativity, we find ourselves wanting to apply the same type of parameters that operate in the rest of our lives. Sometimes, we forget that we don’t actually need the consent of others to explore our own creativity.

But just in case you’ve been waiting to hear it, permission granted. Go for it! Have fun. Explore. Do your thing. Show up for your art, whatever that is. This, of course, is assuming that it’s legal, sane, safe, and consensual – this post is in no way condoning behaviors or inclinations that harm the planet or other living beings. We were made to create, and as one of my mentors says, “the world needs that special gift that only you have.” If you’ve been waiting for the consent of others to dive in, please stop waiting. We don’t need permission. We never did.

So, here’s to exploration. To showing up for those things we’re interested in. To diving in and playing. To doing the work. To creating for the sheer joy and pleasure of it. To following our curiosity. There is no “creative police” no group or entity that gives permission to some and denies others. We are the only ones stopping ourselves. We are the ones with the keys to our own creative freedom. Let’s use them.