Relax

I’ve always had a deep love for curiosity-driven exploration. If something intrigues me, I check it out knowing that I can always change my mind later if it’s not for me. This has, of course, led to quite a few interesting (and some not-so-great) experiences, but I wouldn’t trade it. Sure, I’ve endured my fair share of crap from well-meaning (and some not-so-well-meaning) people in my life who don’t understand, and therefore judge and criticize, my way of being. But at the same time, some of the most amazing things in and about my world wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t explored. And at the end of the day, I am the one who is curating and living my life, not anyone else.

When I was younger, while I enjoyed exploring things that interested me, I used to fear commitment. At the time, it seemed that everywhere I looked, people weren’t happy with some aspect of their lives – their jobs, their relationships, their homes, their country’s leadership, their perceived options, etc. They seemed, to me, to be mired in their own commitments, stuck in lives they didn’t enjoy. I had a million interests and the people around me kept wanting me to winnow them down while all I wanted to do was explore them all without committing to any of them.

There was a season when I changed my mind so frequently, some things actually wouldn’t get done at all. I’d consider creating, doing, or exploring something and then vacillate with the details – weighing options, making decisions, changing my mind, changing it again. Going back and forth ad nauseum until finally I was bored with the whole thing, or I’d missed the opportunity. I’d often find myself with several partially completed projects and didn’t realize at the time that by not committing more fully to any one thing, I was only allowing myself to be mediocre at all of them. I’d also been unconsciously creating evidence that I wasn’t someone who finished things, and just kept creating opportunities to reinforce that idea by jumping to the next thing and the next.

See, I had this fear that if I truly committed to something (beyond exploration), I’d be stuck. I also had anxiety around choosing “the wrong thing,” and I often let that keep me from going all in and/or from choosing at all. Thankfully, I’m not in that place anymore. I recognize now that we aren’t stuck unless we believe we are (and even then, we aren’t really, it’s just an imprint of our mind). And that if we don’t like the results of our lives, we can change the inputs.

Since much of that original pattern was unconscious, I’d inadvertently found myself in a place where I lacked follow-through on commitments to myself (not to others – I doubled down on those and consistently overdelivered there) and sought the help of a mentor to shift it. I learned to remove the moral labeling of “right” and “wrong” or “good” and “bad,” and to simply make a choice. From there, I got to commit to my decision and follow through with it, doing what I said I was going to do. I started out small with commitments that felt “doable,” and have since grown my capacity there. It’s been incredible to see who I get to become along the journey. It’s also been incredible to see what has unfolded along the way.

Bruce Lee famously said “long term consistency trumps short term intensity,” and there is truth to that statement. There is a lot to be said for being consistent. For following through and sticking to “the plan,” for completing what you start. This sage, linear advice has a pretty great track record, which is why many people promote it. But it is also entirely possible to value this way of thinking to the detriment of our creativity. It is quite common in fact for people to prioritize consistency and following a plan over their own creative truths.

In reality, creative ideas often need space.

As much as we may want them to conform to a plan or agenda, as much as we may want to follow along with the prescription for incredible art, true creativity isn’t formulaic. There is no one specific way to create, there is only your way in conjunction with the way of each particular piece. Every piece of art has its own way of being, its own needs along the iterative process of bringing it into physical existence. While consistency is awesome, sometimes consistency isn’t the way.

So, if we’ve been sticking with something that doesn’t resonate as true right now, if we’ve been following a plan that feels stifling. If we’ve been consistent with something that has become stale, let it rest. Give it space.

Change your mind.

This doesn’t make us flighty, emotional, wishy-washy flakes. This makes us humans attuned to the nature of Creativity as a sacred disruptor. There are seasons and lessons and opportunities for growth all along the process. We can still commit to the thing we want to do – write the novel, paint the painting, make the film, build the house, etc. – but maybe we can release the timeline a little. Maybe we can relinquish control and ease up on the gas for a bit as we give things (and ourselves) a little time and space to breathe.

Consistency over time can look different for each of us. For some, it’s a daily thing. For others, the timeline is less structured. Wherever you are, know that you are in the right place at the right time. Not that you need permission, but if you’re seeking it – here it is. You have permission to do what serves you as a creative being. You have permission to commit to a goal, and have flexibility in the process. You have permission to change your mind. And if you are in a place where you can’t make up your mind at all, you have permission to pick just one thing and take a simple action today that moves you toward where you want to go.

No matter where you are in your journey, please be kind to yourself. Creation is an iterative process. Here’s to honoring our commitment(s) to ourselves – whatever that looks like today – knowing that there is no right or wrong. There is only exploration.